Parents ask me all the time, “How do I know if my child has ADHD or if this is just normal?” When your child can’t sit still, zones out at homework, or takes forever to finish a task, it’s easy to feel confused or frustrated.
In this episode, I explain how to tell the difference between developmentally normal attention and true ADHD. We’ll explore what’s realistic for your child’s age, why expectations matter, and how to calm their brain so they can focus. Because once we calm the brain, everything else gets easier.
🗣️ “When your child’s focus issues start to interfere with daily life, that’s your sign to look deeper.” — Dr. Roseann
How can I tell if my child’s behavior is ADHD or just normal?
All kids get distracted sometimes—especially when they’re bored, tired, or overstimulated. But ADHD looks different. It’s consistent, happens in multiple settings, and gets in the way of school, friendships, and daily life.
Here’s what’s typical attention by age:
- 2-year-old: 4–6 minutes
- 6-year-old: 10–12 minutes
- 10-year-old: 20–30 minutes
If your child struggles with attention or impulse control across settings and for long periods, it may be more than a phase.
Key takeaways:
- Look for patterns, not isolated moments.
- ADHD impacts multiple areas of life.
- Behavior is communication from a dysregulated brain.
Am I expecting too much from my child?
Sometimes the problem isn’t your child’s attention—it’s our expectations. I’ve seen parents expect a six-year-old to organize like a teenager or sit still for an hour. That’s not realistic.
Ask yourself:
- Have I shown them exactly what to do?
- Are my directions short and clear?
- Is the task age-appropriate?
When we make expectations explicit, kids feel capable and confident.
Try this:
- Give short, visual directions.
- Break tasks into small steps.
- Praise effort, not perfection.
What are real signs of ADHD?
ADHD typically shows up before age 12 and includes patterns of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity that disrupt everyday life.
Common signs include:
- Frequent forgetfulness or disorganization
- Fidgeting or restlessness
- Interrupting or blurting out answers
- Difficulty finishing even simple tasks
When these behaviors persist despite structure and support, it’s time to get an evaluation. Remember, it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain that needs help regulating before it can focus or behave.
Should I start medication right away?
Medication isn’t the first or only solution. I always tell parents: Let’s calm the brain first.
Through Regulation First Parenting™, I teach families to address the nervous system before turning to medication. When the brain is calm, kids can focus, follow directions, and manage emotions better.
Start with:
- Predictable routines
- Movement and sensory breaks
- Deep breathing or calming activities
- Professional help from someone who understands dysregulation
When we focus on regulation first, real change begins.
When should I get my child evaluated?
If your child’s attention or behavior is hurting their learning, friendships, or confidence, don’t wait. Seek a professional who looks at the whole picture—not just the symptoms. A QEEG brain map or brain-based assessment can show what’s really happening so you can get targeted, effective help.
When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
Takeaway & Next Listen
Telling the difference between ADHD and normal behavior starts with realistic expectations and calm observation. Every child’s brain develops at its own pace—and when we calm the brain first, everything else follows.
Next, join me for “Why You Shouldn’t Medicate Your Child with ADHD,” where I explain why starting with natural, brain-based solutions leads to safer, lasting progress.
FAQs
How do I know if my child’s distractibility is ADHD or boredom?
If they focus well on what they love but not on anything else, it’s likely normal. ADHD affects focus across all areas.
Can kids grow out of ADHD-like behaviors?
Some attention struggles improve with age, but true ADHD persists and interferes with daily life.
Does screen time make ADHD worse?
Yes. Fast-paced screens overstimulate the brain, causing irritability and poor focus.
Can natural methods really help ADHD?
Absolutely. Neurofeedback, sensory regulation, and calming routines can make a huge difference.
When should I get my child evaluated?
If focus or impulsivity impacts learning or relationships, get a brain-based evaluation.
Not sure where to start?
Take the guesswork out of helping your child. Use our free Solution Matcher to get a personalized plan for your child’s needs. Start here: www.drroseann.com/help
