In this episode, I break down why OCD fears feel so real to your child, how anxious avoidance keeps their brain stuck, and what actually helps them build confidence, resilience, and brain-based coping skills.
Why does my child have such intense OCD fears that don’t make sense?
OCD fears aren’t “just worries.” They’re fear-driven brain loops that feel urgent and threatening—even if they sound irrational to others. Your child isn’t choosing these thoughts; their dysregulated brain is sounding a false alarm.
These fears can show up as:
- Obsessive thoughts (“What if something bad happens?”)
- Compulsions or rituals to neutralize the fear
- Anxious avoidance, where kids steer clear of triggering situations
- Reassurance seeking, often dozens of times per day
Think of the child who repeatedly asks, “Are you sure I didn’t hurt someone?” even though nothing happened. Their brain feels trapped in a loop—and reassurance only calms them for a moment.
Key idea: Behavior is communication. These rituals are their brain’s attempt to feel safe.
How do I know if my child’s behaviors are anxiety… or OCD?
Parents often miss early signs because OCD lives inside a child’s thoughts. Kids might hide fears out of shame or confusion.
Clues pointing toward OCD:
- Repeating the same question, even when answered
- Over-checking, counting, or specific routines
- Fixating on “bad thing might happen” thoughts
- Avoiding people, places, or situations
- Obsessions tied to PANS/PANDAS, autism, or sensory overload
Parent Story
One mom realized her child’s “quirky habits” were actually compulsions only when they began taking over homework and bedtime.
What to remember: OCD isn’t misbehavior—it’s a dysregulated brain stuck in fear-mode.
Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button? Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in. Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.
Are we accidentally accommodating OCD without realizing it?
Yes—most loving parents do. It’s not your fault.
When you:
- Change routines
- Assist with rituals
- Modify family behaviors
- Provide constant reassurance
…you’re trying to help your child feel calm. But OCD sees this as fuel. The more the ritual is supported, the stronger the obsession grows.
I’ve worked with families who put a sheet up in the minivan to keep siblings apart due to relational OCD. These accommodations start small—and suddenly take over.
Breaking the cycle starts with calming the brain and reducing accommodations step by step.
What treatments actually help kids confront OCD fears?
The most effective approach is a combination of:
- Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
- Psychoeducation so kids understand how OCD works
- Stress tolerance and coping skills
- Neurofeedback or PMF to regulate the brain
- Small, structured challenges to reduce avoidance
ERP helps kids learn: “This fear feels real, but it won’t stay forever.”
It breaks the reinforcement loop and teaches the brain not to panic.
How can I support my child at home without making things worse?
Parents play a huge role in treatment success. Start with:
- Modeling calm—your nervous system co-regulates theirs
- Reducing reassurance gently
- Helping them tolerate small amounts of discomfort
- Keeping routines consistent
- Creating a low-stress, low-conflict home environment
Even simple supports like magnesium can help quiet a revved-up nervous system.
Remember: It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. And with the right tools, it’s absolutely treatable.
🗣️ “Once kids understand their brain—and that OCD isn’t in charge—they feel empowered. That’s where the shift happens.” — Dr. Roseann
Takeaway
Your child’s OCD fears may feel big and overwhelming, but there is a path forward. When we calm the brain first, reduce accommodations, and teach kids to sit with small amounts of discomfort, real healing begins.
FAQs
What triggers OCD fears in kids?
Stress, illness, PANS/PANDAS, sensory overload, or fear-based thoughts can activate OCD loops.
Is exposure therapy safe for children?
Yes—when done correctly. ERP uses small, supported exposures that build confidence and reduce fear.
Can OCD go away on its own?
No. OCD needs treatment, but kids improve significantly with the right support.
Is reassurance harmful?
Repeated reassurance strengthens OCD loops, even though it feels helpful in the moment.
Every child’s journey is different. That’s why cookie-cutter solutions don’t work.
Take the free Solution Matcher Quiz and get a customized path to support your child’s emotional and behavioral needs—no guessing, no fluff.
Start today at www.drroseann.com/help
