Estimated reading time: 6 min
When you’re raising a child who seems advanced one minute and completely dysregulated the next, it can feel confusing and lonely. You see brilliance. Teachers see “behavior.” You know they’re trying. Others just see a problem. That’s why conversations like the one I had with Karen matter—because parents of gifted and ADHD kids deserve clarity, hope, and real tools.
In this episode, Karen shares her son’s journey from frustrated preschooler to thriving high schooler. His advanced thinking, curiosity, and quick wit were obvious from day one—but so were the impulsivity, big emotions, and anxiety. Like many twice exceptional kids, he struggled not because he wasn’t capable, but because his nervous system needed support and regulation before everything else.
How do I know if my child is gifted and ADHD and not just “difficult”?
Twice exceptional kids often look inconsistent: brilliant ideas paired with messy handwriting, mature conversations mixed with impulsive reactions. That mismatch confuses adults—and overwhelms kids.
Common signs include:
- Advanced thinking but age-typical or lagging emotional skills
- Boredom that leads to acting out or disengaging
- High curiosity and constant questioning
- Inconsistency between capability and follow-through
A good evaluation should honor both their strengths and the areas where their brain needs support.
Why does my twice exceptional child get angry when they’re actually anxious?
For many gifted and ADHD kids, anxiety rarely looks like worry. It looks like:
- Anger or irritability
- Explosive reactions
- Restlessness or spinning
- Shutting down when overwhelmed
Their brain moves fast, their body reacts fast, and their emotional development doesn’t always keep pace. When we understand anger as anxiety in disguise, we can support rather than punish.
Try saying:
- “I wonder if something is worrying you underneath this.”
- “Your brain feels overloaded—let’s calm it together.”
When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
How can school support a gifted and ADHD learner who’s bored but struggling?
School is often the hardest place for twice exceptional kids. They crave challenge but lack the regulation or executive functioning skills to manage typical classroom demands.
What helps:
- Higher-level thinking opportunities instead of busywork
- Movement, breaks, and routine to support regulation
- Understanding adults who see more than behavior
- Accommodations that build executive functioning
When we calm the brain—through neurofeedback, lifestyle changes, and the Regulation First Parenting™ approach—kids can use their gifts without getting swallowed by anxiety or impulsivity.
🗣️ “When we stop seeing behavior as defiance and start seeing it as dysregulation, everything changes for these kids.”
Takeaway & What’s Next
Parenting a gifted and ADHD child means learning to see past the behavior and into the brain behind it. When we support regulation first, their strengths can finally shine. For more help choosing experts who truly understand complex kids, listen to the episode on Why Choose Expert Care. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward.
FAQs
How do I explain twice exceptionality to teachers?
Tell them your child is gifted and ADHD, meaning they need challenge plus support for attention, emotional regulation, and executive functioning.
Why does my child only do the bare minimum?
It’s often boredom combined with executive functioning challenges. Focus on routines, planning, and chunking tasks.
Does my child still need help if grades are good?
Yes—good grades don’t equal regulation. Look for anxiety, rigidity, or emotional overload.
Can natural solutions help?
When we calm the brain using science-backed tools, kids become more focused, flexible, and confident.
How can I support friendships?
Find interest-based groups where their passions are celebrated, and coach them gently on social give-and-take.
Tired of not knowing what’s really going on with your child?
The Solution Matcher gives you a personalized recommendation based on your child’s behavior, not just a label. It’s free, takes just a few minutes, and shows you the best next step. Go to www.drroseann.com/help
